Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
