We're facebook friends in real life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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