I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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