He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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