real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
