I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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