I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
