i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
