Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We have started to decorate penises.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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