I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
