Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
