Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
