Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
