i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
