chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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