ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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