if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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