I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
they call him Oral-B. enough said
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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