I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
your room smells of hookers.
And success
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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