Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
