So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
