he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
