Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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