Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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