I have demons in me.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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