She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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