New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
