I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
