I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
