She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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