I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
