Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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