she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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