Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
