dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
