can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
