I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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