it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
