Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
