i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
