I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
