4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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