is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
