We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
