wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
