"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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