My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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