Don't you send me to vm
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
