I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
