Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
