Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
