Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
